Gas! Gas! Gas!

At Kunsan Air Base, SSgt Kohler and I were enjoying a cigarette break or at least, he was enjoying the cigarette and I was enjoying the break. It was hot that day, a sweltering ninety seven degrees and humid and the extraneous fabric of the Airman's Battle Uniform did not help whatsoever.

So it was to our great dismay when the Giant Voice announced "Exercise, exercise, exercise. Alarm yellow. Alarm yellow. MOPP level 4. MOPP level 4."

Kohler and I both swore simultaneously as we jumped to our feet, pulled our gas masks on our faces and then rushed as fast as we could to our chemical defense gear. MOPP level 4. This meant, the entire suit from head to toe, no exposed skin whasoever.

I got to my bag and immediately pulled on the heavy charcoal lined trousers. I zipped them up, snapped the triple snap, pulled the straps around the waste and made it tight. Then the overcoat came on over that. And already, I was sweating from the heat. The gas mask, with its airtight seal, left no real ventilation from the heat. I got the overcoat on, zipped it, velcroed it, drew the strings and tied them tight. I pulled the jock strap in between my legs and snapped it in place.

Then I pulled my overboots on, strapping the pants over the boots, and followed with the gloves, strapping the sleeves of the overjacket to the rubber gloves. Then I put my hood up and tightened it. As SSgt Kohler and I were checking each other out, I felt a sudden urge.

I looked at him with exasperation.

"Man, I gotta take a piss."

It never fails, whether it be chemical defense gear or just freaking snow pants and a ski parka, once suited up, nature calls.