The Police Chase

Driving down I-95 in my Chevy Cavalier, I noticed I was being followed. I glanced into the rearview mirror and my heart squeezed a moment as I saw sirens. But then I realized my initial assessment was incorrect. The blue Taurus, which was following me, had a ski rack. A red and blue ski rack, made of glass.

I found this odd. Perhaps he was patriotic? Or maybe Russian. Or worse, French. I decided it was a French guy, but why he had a French colors on a ski rack while driving behind me in New Hampshire, I could not explain.

I continued driving and he stayed behind me. My mind drifted and soon, as my foot stayed on the gas. As I was riding a unicorn through verdant meadows, under a golden sky as the newborn sun began its approach, the speedometer was inching upward. When I snapped back to reality, I was doing ninety.

The Taurus behind me, the French dude, had lights coming from its ski rack. Flashing in French patriot colors. He was tailgating me, so in irritation, I pulled over to the slow lane let him pass. I cannot stand tailgaters. To my dismay, this clown stayed behind me.

This continued for a few miles. The French driver was getting irate. His ski rack was now wailing loudly and I was wondering why would you add a siren to a ski rack? Anti-theft device? Skis are expensive, but why would you set it off while you're tailgating someone? Especially since he wasn't carrying skis.

Now irate, I pulled over and came to a stop. He stopped behind me. Then the French clown came out of his car, inexplicably wearing a cop costume, looking very put out. He approached. I saw he had a gun, and not wanting to have my car stolen, I stepped on the gas and peeled out. The French guy ran back to his car and he began to chase me!

I flew at about 90 miles, trying to get this cop-disguised thief off my back. I could now see that not only had he stolen a cop uniform, he had also taken the time to paint the State Trooper emblem on his Taurus. I wondered why a French car thief would undergo such deception. He stayed behind me. For miles he chased me, he was truly desparate to steal my decrepit Cavalier! So I slammed on the brakes and he rear ended me. The force was so strong that my airbags blew and the car went off the road and into a ditch. The shock was so great, I loss consciousness.

I woke up, in a hospital, held hostage by a bunch of men in cop-costumes. I do not know what they want, and I do not know what became of my car. As soon as my wounds heal, I intend to escape!

Zadok the Dragon

Mighty Zadok, a dragon was he.
Green were his scales, sharp were his claws
Fast were his wings, strong were his jaws
His breath was of fire, his eyes were as ice.
In the land of Darloc, he exacted a price
For the peasants were weak, in terror they fled.
Those who remained are roasted and dead.
Zadok feasted upon them for hour after hour
Gorging and feeding until each was devoured.
Zadok roared and pillaged on forth
And came to a kingdom up in the north.
He ate every man, and burned every house.
Nothing survived, not even a mouse.
He gorged and and feasted until the next day
Until he went on to his terrible way.
He flew in the sky, a frightful beast,
Seeking as always, a gruesome feast.
Settling down in a quiet small village,
He roared his bright flame in terrible pillage.
Zadok, he stole all their jewels and gold
And then he ate them, the young and the old.
No one was spared, all were consumed.
Every last person on Earth was doomed.
At last, with a belly full, he declared himself king.
He put on a crown, a robe, upon his claw was a ring.
"I am your lord, I am your lord,"
Said he, and he bellowed and roared.
But alas, he looked around and saw with a stun,
None had survived, none at all, not a one.
He could not be king, he had no one to rule
And so he wondered why fate had been so cruel.
Lonely Zadok, a dragon was he.